


Indescribable Journey

by MadhouseCabaret



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ
Genre: Angst and Humor, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-20
Updated: 2018-01-20
Packaged: 2019-03-07 10:11:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 21,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13432512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MadhouseCabaret/pseuds/MadhouseCabaret
Summary: What do you do when the man you've viewed as family ends up being viewed in a different light? And what can you do upon realizing everything you've worked hard for can come crashing down because of falling in love?





	1. Chapter 1

This was daunting. Clothes were strewn about in such a manner that you could sense the level of carelessness, and it would have been less terrible were it only shirts. No, there were socks, underwear, pants, a belt somewhere in there; and this was only from three days worth.  
"He knows I hate this---does he do this on purpose?" The owner of this exasperated voice was Shim Changmin. He was the long suffering maknae of TVXQ even when there were five members. Suffice to say his hyung, Jung Yunho made enough mess to equate five people. Though speaking of which he didn't hear the man shuffling around the house. Tutting under his breath Changmin set to picking up part of the disaster area and relocating items to the hamper.

As he set the last few socks in he heard a light snore. Ah, yes, of course Yunho was blissfully asleep and unfettered by his own terrible messes. Opening the room door Changmin peeked inside to see the charismatic leader sprawled out, laying diagonally, sheets twisted about his waist and legs, with mouth hanging open a bit. 

Anything but the pillar of charisma.

Though even he had to admit that his leader looked somewhat adorable. However he wasn't about to succumb to those feelings, because currently he had to pick up seven pairs of dirty socks. Instead he casually walked over to the bed and stood there like a looming sentry; deciding his best course of action. Lifting his left foot, Changmin started to semi gently shake the bed.  
"Hyung, hyung..." He shook it a bit harder, "Hyung!" At that last attempt did the thirty-one year old man actually move. His eyes fluttered open softly as it took a moment for his surroundings to come into focus. There, standing over him was an annoyed Changmin --which wasn't too bizarre. Apparently not reading the tenseness of the situation Yunho simply sat up casually with a yawn.  
"Did I nap too long? What is that look for?" He asked completely unaware that the chaos left in his wake caused any issues. Changmin however gave a long suffering sigh, and just simply gestured to Yunho's room in particular.  
"From in here to the living room are trails of YOUR clothing. You weren't raised in a barn house hyung, and I don't see why you insist on tossing your clothes everywhere!" Like a nagging housewife is exactly how Changmin acted. There was something endearing about that to Yunho, but he also wasn't keen on getting snapped at so shortly after waking up. He ran his fingers through disheveled black hair before kicking his legs over the side of the bed.  
"I'll clean it tomorrow." He returned.  
"You said that four days ago." Changmin was not about to lose this argument. Tomorrow for Yunho was any time between four days to a week; and that was a stretch. At that Yunho looked a bit thoughtful before pulling the covers off his lap and getting up. Changmin moved aside and watched after him as he walked from the bedroom out to the hall. He must have been making his way into the bathroom, because Changmin heard him talking from none too far away, as per usual with the door wide open.  
"Okay, I'll clean it now that I'm awake. Oh, so did you see that new video going around about the red pandas being scared of vegetables?" Yunho began to ramble and all Changmin could muster was a small face palm. Why did he insist on leaving the bathroom door open?  
"That video is one year old, and I'll believe it when I see it." He retorted with a sigh before walking briskly past the bathroom and into the kitchen. Changmin stopped for a second to look at what was sitting in the sink; dirty dishes from he assumed earlier, but were not even rinsed off.  
"Yunho!" He called from the kitchen and waited for response.  
"Be there in a moment!" Yunho called back seemingly unaware of what basic human rules he had broken. Oblivious he entered the kitchen looking to Changmin curiously. "Ah, so what is going on?" 

Changmin stared at him. Fourteen years of built up frustration was starting to boil over again, but this time it felt like that time was being compounded by every stupid thing Yunho has done in the past week alone. Yunho on the other hand finally noted the dishes with a rather sheepish expression.  
"I can clean those lat---"  
"Now." Changmin cut him off. At which point Yunho didn't seem so much startled as almost annoyed that his friend was being so unreasonable. Yunho himself typically didn't like to get into it with Changmin if he didn't have too, and to him a fight could easily be avoided right now. It was just Changmin seemed insistent in his pursuit of trying to push the man's buttons.  
"I will do the laundry first THEN work on those dishes. I told you I would do the clothing first." Yunho reminded Changmin with mild exasperation before turning to walk out. Changmin stared after him silently, but his expression changed a bit when Yunho had turned his back. Oh certainly he was very peeved at his friend's lack of home care, but another knee jerk reaction had presented itself to him alarmingly so. Changmin needed to not give into the sudden flow of emotion, but his brain felt hijacked. And so Yunho was doing as he said gathering up all of the loose garments, and allocating them into the hamper appropriately. Not even realizing that Changmin was looming behind him quietly with the most peculiar expression.  
"Changmin all of those talk show hosts are right. You're like a wife!" Yunho called out still unaware of his friend's presence, that was until he suddenly heard a voice behind him;  
"I can't take it." And before any query could be made Yunho found himself pinned rather roughly, back against the opposite living room wall with Changmin's lips crushed awkwardly against his. The angle was off because of the unexpected pinning, and Yunho had his mouth pressed firmly shut. His hands however were firmly, yet gently pushing Changmin away from his body.  
"Cha--Changmin!" He managed to say while his mind still processed the surprise kiss. "Changmin are you drunk? Is that why you have been acting like this?" His face was flushed red from embarrassment all the same. It appeared that Changmin had only just realized what he had done, because the young man stammered a bit before seeing himself out and into his own room. Yunho could only look on in utter confusion.

8:00pm and both hadn't said a word to each other. Yunho wanted to talk about the situation, feeling that there was a lot there needing to be said. Changmin had done everything in his power to avoid Yunho at all costs. At about 8:15 Yunho finally decided to corner Changmin in the security of his own bedroom. A rather harsh move, but that kiss earlier left so many unanswered questions, and Yunho wasn't the type to simply let something like that go.  
"We are talking, Changmin. I'm not angry, I'm not disgusted, I'm just confused." Yunho opened the discussion as such whilst opening the door to Changmin's bedroom. The young man was just sitting there on his bed reading, and only glanced up when Yunho poked his head in the door. Yunho sighed at the lack of response before entering and moving to sit down on the edge of the bed.  
"Changmin...you can talk to me. What's up?" At that Changmin put his book down and offered a non-comittal shrug.  
"I just was so frustrated at you that something snapped, clicked, not really sure what. I went along with it when I shouldn't have..." Ah, this was very awkward. Changmin had always referred to Yunho as cool, attractive, and any other adjectives thereof. He hadn't actually realized his feelings concerning the man were that of love; the kind of romantic love that crept upon you. What was scariest is he hadn't known when this actually happened. Yunho on the other hand listened thoughtfully and seemed oddly understanding, but it wasn't as if Changmin expected a reaction akin to disdain.  
B"I see...hm, ah so you like me?" He came out and said it so suddenly that Changmin's voice caught. What was he supposed to say? Yes, he had thought numerous times about the what ifs? Or lie and said no, never?

"....Yes." Changmin, though normally quiet, felt even smaller and quieter in this moment. There was an expression on Yunho's face that seemed almost sympathetic, and he too was searching for every right thing to say. Carefully considering his words Yunho began to speak.  
"I realize this must be terrifying to you, and I know that your feelings aren't to be taken lightly...but..." It was that 'but' part that suddenly made Changmin's heart clench. That cold realization he was afraid of experiencing.  
"You don't need to say it." Changmin cut him off with a raise of his hand. He also was trying to avert his gaze from Yunho's prying eyes, because there must have been some hurt on his face. An expression of disappointment at what statement was looming ahead.  
"Changmin..." Yunho pressed on, "I appreciate your feelings. I'm very humbled and flattered by your love for me. I never even noticed, but I don't fault you for it all the same." He continued to speak ever so carefully, but felt his heartbreaking at the continued look of melancholy washing over Changmin's face. Tentatively he reached his hand out to hold Changmin's as he always would do, and for a split second his partner went to shove it away. But Yunho reached his hand back down and took Changmin's firmly. "The two of us have done a lot together, but I don't think..."  
"No, no it won't work out. We can't be open about it, we can't tell a soul and god forbid our own families. This was foolish of me to even---"  
Yunho rose his free hand is a motion to silence him. "Look...we can...figure out something." He responded with the weight of uncertainty, but they weren't just pretty words to fill the long pauses between thoughts. The passion king of the whole Kpop scene was usually a man with many things left to say, and never too quiet for very long. However, this situation was so foreboding that Yunho found himself attempting to do and say everything with more care than ever before. Changmin on the other hand looked completely floored by Yunho's words of figuring their situation out, because he knew that there was an underlying promise there. Yunho wouldn't just leave this situation without giving his all into finding a solution that would work for them both. Then again, by Yunho's words it almost appeared as if he were keen on entertaining Changmin's feelings.  
"Yunho..." His voice soft and trailing off as a rising sense of doubt filled Changmin. His friend, brother in arms, partner among so many things was offering a solution that would be so difficult at best, but also terribly emotionally taxing as well.  
"Yunho you want children one day, a wife, a marriage. I cannot offer you two of the three, and marriage would be impossible simply due to society itself." Here he tried to rationalize the heavy lead feeling in his chest. Yunho stopped himself from speaking further as he considered Changmin's words. 

Marriage and children would be probably the two biggest hurdles. Homosexual leanings were frowned upon, and no one would allow two male or female couples to adopt a child. Again he stayed completely silent as if even the most sudden sound could shatter the air around them.  
"I find that I'm fond of you too. More so than I have been in quite a while actually..." Yunho trailed off for a second, "That two year gap really helped bring our goals and lives into focus, didn't it?" He inquired with a small smile and Changmin returned the expression with a nod. "Letters, visits, so on, perhaps we both didn't see that Cupid got us eh?" At that the older man laughed at his own little analogy and Changmin rolled his eyes almost endearingly so.  
"I doubt we were struck with love arrows." Changmin responded trying to sound flat.  
"Is this why you looked at me so lovingly when we sang love ballads together? Just staring into my eyes..." Yunho teased and Changmin flushed up to his ears.  
"Hyung!" He gave an almost harsh whisper yet said no more.  
"Aha, I was right!" At that Yunho slapped his hands against his knees and stood up markedly less somber than a minute or two ago. "So I say you make us dinner and we can take things from there, okay?"  
Changmin stared up at him before standing and pressing his lips together in thought. Just like that Yunho could act like everything was going to be okay because he said so? That was the impression Changmin got from the sudden optimism, but his eyes were viewing Yunho fully in a new light; love made you put up with weird things. Had he always loved Yunho? Yes, but it was in 2014 to the present day where feelings slowly crept upon him. Had Yunho already known he cared for Changmin as more than a brother figure? Possibly. He supposed that could be ruminated on a bit later after dinner was made. Though, he found himself almost resentful that Yunho so cleverly placed the task upon him, but then again Changmin wouldn't trust the man cooking if his life depended on it.

 

Since the kiss earlier that day, to their talk and eventual dinner, Yunho had been thinking about it off and on. Throughout their meal his mind wandered briefly to Changmin's sudden display of aggressive affection. Ah, but could he even call it affection? More like aggression with a kiss. Yunho had to think on that moment more before concluding that he had in fact enjoyed it, and furthermore he wanted to know what it was like to kiss Changmin; an actual kiss that wasn't so awkwardly placed. The time was now 10:03pm and Yunho was laying in his bed, phone in hand looking over online news articles. The same headlines as always: North Korea, Financial Concerns, evidently the United States faced a Net Neutrality issue, Winter Olympics were soon, etc. He scanned through articles that interested him before setting his phone on the bed with a sigh. That kiss just played over and over through his mind, and being manhandled like that with the sudden back up against the wall. Yunho scarcely realized until having time alone in the night that he enjoyed the roughness. Even internally admitting to that caused his face to go warm.  
So...did he want a kiss again?  
The answer was yes, and he had been fairly certain Changmin was still awake. With silent resolution Yunho got up from bed going out his room door towards Changmin's until he noticed the man sitting on the sofa, television on low volume as he sat quietly in his pajamas. Considering the sudden spook Changmin had given him earlier that day perhaps payback was in order?

Slowly he crept towards Changmin's blind spot and began to climb over the sofa, and without warning Yunho suddenly plopped down next to his now deer in headlights partner delivering a surprise kiss. Changmin couldn't even snap at him as his mouth was covered, and he felt Yunho grab onto his shoulders surprisingly gently all things considered. At this motion Changmin turned his body more comfortably and almost shyly tried to meld his mouth into the kiss. Both of them knew how to kiss people, but neither ever had to kiss each other. This was definitely a learning experience. Yunho on the other hand pulled away only an inch from Changmin's face awaiting anything to be said.  
"Why did you stop?" Changmin responded rather huskily before pulling Yunho back in. This time their movements were more natural and Changmin cast away any lingering shyness before resting a hand at the back of Yunho's head. Yunho thusly reciprocated by snaking an arm around Changmin as he ever so slightly parted his lips, but Changmin took the hint and slipped his tongue through softly.  
"Ch---" Yunho was surprised at his own mild arousal at how electrified his nerves felt from head to toe. This was so much different from a woman's kiss, but the attraction was still the exact same. Yunho groaned as Changmin moved a hand down over his chest, but then both the hand and Changmin suddenly retracted. Confused and dazed the older idol looked quizzically at his partner.  
"Why did you sto--?"  
"Why aren't you wearing pants or underwear!" That was less a question and more a startled explanation. Yunho still looked at him as if Changmin's outburst was completely unnecessary.  
"You know I don't always wear pants after I shower."  
"Well if you're going to make out with someone don't scare them with...THAT." Changmin gestured down towards the offending appendage; it looking a little bigger due to their machinations. And Changmin hadn't ever seen Yunho quite in that way yet, so this was more than a little startling.

Yunho still looked completely unimpressed by Changmin's outburst, and just simply explained away the situation.  
"These things happen when two people get intimate like that."  
"Agh, don't patronize me!" Changmin was still having a hard time keeping his eyes at Yunho's face. He's seen Yunho change numerous times and even without underwear even on. At that time he had noted it was quite impressive, unfairly so, but that was about all which could be said. Now he saw the almost full standing size and Changmin began to chew his lip almost nervously.  
"You're not gonna top first time." He suddenly blurted out. Yunho raised his brows and looked at him very confused.  
"Is...that's what you're worried about?" Yunho tilted his head a little and pat Changmin's shoulder tentatively. "I mean...not sure how well I would do first time either. I've never had anything there...." Why was this suddenly turning awkward? Wasn't as if they were perfect strangers. Changmin seemed a little apprehensive at the idea of taking one for the team so to speak, but that was normal.  
"Neither have I, hyung. I can do many things, but fit that anywhere besides my mouth?"  
Yunho flushed, "We can, um, discuss this more later." With that he swiftly scampered back to his room for the remainder of the night.


	2. Chapter 2

  9:00am the next day both men had to travel further into town for television interviews, a slot for another at around 12:00 noon right before lunch, and from 1:45pm until 5:30pm was an onslaught of other TV spots to promote their new music a month off the heels of their December schedules. Yunho was different during the travelling to and fro, with a much more serious face and a power walk as Changmin called it. Changmin himself followed almost about six to seven paces behind with sunglasses on as they headed towards the SUV; he yielding the front seat to Yunho before getting into the back. This was their routine and the whole of it wasn't even finished today, because the last thing on their itinerary wouldn't end until probably 11:00pm. Dance practices, venue checks, stage checks, they still had a few more concerts to go with only if even a half week break in between the last ones. In three days time they would be staying in hotels again, but this is what both of them loved even through the strenuous work. Changmin watched the back of Yunho's seat with a thoughtful click of his tongue that no one noticed. Everything that happened last night was in fact real, right? He hadn't concocted the scenario from some bizarre fever dream far as he knew. Yunho had minded himself and did not even show that there was anything up between the two of them, but Changmin could swear he was the one having a difficult time. Didn't help that his mind went directly to Yunho with his pants off from the night before; that sight was deadly.

Left his mind to wander aimlessly.

Changmin would tell himself to get it together, but how could he? Now whenever they were alone in their hotel or home there was a silent permission to fool around. The young man knew himself well and knew that he was highly keen on fooling around, but it was made all the more an attractive prospect be it he could with Yunho. The car finally slowed at another studio building and the driver found the parking round back, at which Yunho stepped out with Changmin following suit.

There wasn't anyone there thankfully to snap unwanted photos. Sometimes you would get lucky and the more invasive fans could be easily thwarted with the right kind of timing. Usually their fans weren't too creepy or crazy these days as things have calmed, and honestly everyone has grown up. Still, every so often they would get the occasional oddball, but Changmin would normally take it upon himself to handle the situation. As they entered the back door both men were directed to the green room while they waited to be on cue for the next interview. To Changmin's delight there were snacks on the table, drinks, and it was relatively quiet in there; the bouncer for the two of them, for lack of a better word stood near the door outside while they took in their quiet time.    "Hyung?" Changmin asked as he grabbed a small packet of sesame snacks. Yunho looked over from the orange he begun peeling into.          "Are you feeling okay today?" Changmin got up to get a little cup of water for himself, but instinctively opened and handed Yunho a bottled tea. "I'm fine, I'm fine. I have just been thinking about our upcoming month and what needs to be done." Yunho smiled taking the tea and going for a big swig. "You have been quieter than usual though. I should be asking if you're okay." Changmin shrugged some and munched on his little snack before speaking up.   

  "I had a difficult time sleeping last night." He commented before drinking his water. Yunho sat back and popped a slice of orange into his mouth. "I'm sorry. Are you coming down with something you think?" Changmin stared at his hyung for a second as he popped another sesame snack in his mouth. Well, if love constitutes as an illness then for sure he had come down with something.     "You know..." The young man gestured. At that Yunho made an 'oh' before nodding almost sagely before popping another orange into his mouth. "Mmm, well I think everything is fine. We shouldn't discuss it here though." Agh, how frustrating! Changmin didn't even know why sensibly he would feel the irritating scratch of frustration on his emotions, but there it was! Maybe it was pent up crap from the night before, or him picturing Yunho in his bed that night; and no matter how much Changmin said he would not bottom first time that was a lie. While in bed Changmin discovered his brain was a liar and his body wished to feel Yunho just--- ---Well he digressed in any case, because the green room fifteen minutes before an interview was not the place to get horny. Hopefully Yunho didn't notice his frustration and the rest of their day could go without a hitch. And maybe during this interview neither one would be full hand on thigh mode, because right now Changmin felt he would probably burst. Of course this was a pipe dream due to the overwhelming fact they could never not touch each other at any given point, and now Changmin slowly realized what exactly this did to him emotionally.

It's no wonder he fell head over heels for the single most annoyingly passionate, excitable, albeit handsome men he ever knew. Damn you, Yunho. Fifteen minutes went and they were called to make their way onto the small stage. There were three MCs, a lot of guests in the audience, and two other Japanese celebrities who were sitting off at the left. Both Changmin and Yunho did their respective succession of bows before going to take a seat next to one another. By now Changmin or Yunho pulling their chairs closer together was simply par the course for working with them in this setting, but as Yunho did this Changmin suddenly felt a bizarre sense of paranoia. Sitting there and wondering if he would come off too flirtatious after last night, would people notice something was different? Oh no, he hated this. Changmin had not stopped to consider the amount of trepidation he would have, but why wasn't he like this during the morning interviews? Yunho glanced over at Changmin while the MCs recapped a few moments from the past week, and gently placed his hand over Changmin's between the chairs. Not a bold move by him in the slightest, and so Yunho knew he could get away with it. Changmin tensed for half a heartbeat before curling his fingers between Yunho's before giving a small smile. If anything the fan girls would eat this up and that was always pretty amusing. After the two were more formally introduced as guests did the MCs actually start asking questions, and Changmin sat as the quiet observer although slightly more involved than years past. "How do you believe this coming year will be for you two?" A female MC asked and right away Yunho took the reins of talking. "Honestly I feel like this year will be filled with even more opportunities for us to grow. The 2017 comeback was much better than I could have imagined." Yunho answered with his bright smile as the other MCs nodded while listening. Changmin looked over and gave a nod too and only interjected when he deemed necessary. "I think we should pace ourselves." He pointed out to which Yunho looked over and a male MC piped up. "Eh? You think that you should go more slowly?" "Well yes, you see Yunho-hyung has a bad habit of going in with full exertion. We aren't getting any younger so I feel that will cause us problems." Changmin explained to the chuckles of both audience, guests and interviewers. Yunho shook his head and jostled Changmin slightly while looking to the MCs. "He always says this, but Changmin never actually shows signs of degrading at all!"    "Through your own excitement you never notice." The way in which Changmin said that caused laughter to go through the room. Yunho laughed and pat Changmin's shoulder affectionately before letting go. "Okay, I might be a little energetic." He explained, but the female MC gestured to Changmin. "His expression tells us he is thinking otherwise." She pointed out playfully. "A little energetic isn't true. He is the man who will feel immense energy even at six in the morning. I firmly believe that is not normal." Changmin pointed out with slight exasperation, but all was in jest. Their interview went on for another forty minutes of banter and talks for the future. When everything wrapped up they both headed back to the SUV where there stood some fans behind barriers, but they were happily waving and wishing the two well. Once in the car Changmin sat back and looked up at the ceiling. He almost lost his nerves back there in the studio, but just as always Yunho knew what to do. How did the man always know how to comfort Changmin when the situation called for it?

  The winter sky turned shades of cotton candy pink and purple outside as the sun began to sink down behind the buildings. Changmin needed to keep his thoughts internalized until later tonight after the rest of their tasks were finished, but his mind was firing off so many thoughts that his heart wouldn't stop pounding. 11:25pm they finally arrived home with two different looks. Changmin appeared as if he were going to fall over dead, and Yunho just walked in with the last vestiges of energy still within him. "Dammit hyung _your shoes."_ Changmin couldn't raise his voice, but he still sounded stern as his eyes followed Yunho walking through their living room with shoes on. Yunho waved over his shoulder entirely unbothered by his lack of house etiquette. "I'm taking them off in my room!" He called before disappearing inside. Changmin squinted his eyes a bit before rolling them and carefully setting his own shoes down. Okay, so was this the man he really wanted to fall in love with? Since it seemed Changmin had lost his mind deciding that Yunho could only ever be the only one, because dammit his habits grated on Changmin's nerves. After several moments he heard the shower began to run, and as the water flowed so did his thoughts before bed last night. Awkwardly he stood there in the middle of the living room now shifting on his feet, but then moved to head towards his room slowing to a stop. Maybe he could get a little something in tonight? Changmin thinned his lips before shrugging and heading straight for the bathroom door, and stopping just momentarily before peeling his own clothing off. If things got too hot and heavy Changmin was certain that he had condoms tucked away somewhere. None that would fit Yunho and that was annoying to think about. Changmin was having and internal conversation on how that would play out, and carefully slid the little glass door open while his partner washed his hair. Changmin looked him up and down with slightly hungry eyes, but kept himself steady of mind before slowly wrapping his arms around Yunho.   

  "Yunho..." He spoke in a soft almost husky voice, and the man's eyes shot open almost ready to jump until he noticed who was holding him.  "Changminnie." He gestured for Changmin to back up some so they both weren't standing under a stream of water. "You can't keep your hands off me suddenly, then you get scared of me without pants on, and now you're _embracing_ me naked?" Not that Yunho was actually complaining since being embraced felt nice. Changmin himself began to teasingly plant kisses along Yunho's neck with careful consideration to playfully nip at the skin every few pecks. "In here...?" Yunho didn't mean to sound so breathless, but his voice and breath hitched when Changmin bit down on his shoulder gently and began suckling. "Mhm..." Changmin kissed back up slowly before teasing Yunho's earlobe between his teeth. "I was thinking about you last night, all today..." His hot breath brushing against Yunho's skin causing goosebumps to spread from head to toe. Changmin's hands wasted no time roaming from Yunho's shoulders, over muscled arms before resting on the man's hips firmly.   "Changmin I---" Yunho turned his body to press his back against the cool shower wall. This wasn't the ending to their long day that he had envisioned, but while the sensuality wasn't foreign to his body, Yunho still found himself adjusting to sexual advances from another man. With Changmin there was an unconditional trust and support that made their now peculiar situation less difficult in his eyes, and perhaps this was exactly why he had agreed to figuring it all out in the first place. Changmin squeezed Yunho's hips as he brushed his nose against the other man's. "You and I can take this back to my room?" This wasn't so much a simple as the tone sounded heavy and heated. Yunho's mind was a mangled cluster of fatigue, hormones, and he finally reached over shutting the water off. Changmin offered an enticing smirk before tilting his head in and melding his lips with Yunho's slowly at first. The kiss didn't heat too much even considering the current feverish state, but after several moments Yunho gently pulled away.   "Minnie I am too tired...and, um I don't think I'm ready to yet." The thirty-one year old sounded soft as he admitted this in an almost embarrassed manner. While indeed disappointment bubbled at the core of Changmin's stomach he respectfully backed off with an almost apologetic expression. He should have known Yunho would be exhausted from their non-stop working throughout the day, and he himself was getting too invested in his sexual repression. Sliding the shower door open he stepped out and reached to grab a towel handing it off to Yunho. "I'm sorry. I just have been--well all day--and--." As Changmin tripped over his own words Yunho simply lifted his hand giving the younger a reassuring arm rub. "Changmin, I could tell that all day you were anxious and fidgeting. It's okay, you're okay, okay?" That assured sense of speaking was balm to Changmin's emotions and he visibly calmed. "You can sleep in my room tonight if you want." Yunho offered as he wrapped the towel around his waist going out. 

They were in bed by almost midnight exactly in Yunho's room. Changmin having changed into just a pair of navy blue sweatpants, and Yunho with black sweatpants and a T-shirt on. All light in the room was off save the glow from high-rises outside their shared abode, and Changmin laid on his back looking up at the darkened ceiling. His heart was still racing a little while his mind wandered to this thought and that, but Yunho appeared completely unfazed by anything that happened in the past 24 hours. He did however, turn his body at an angle with both legs stretched out over Changmin's; facing him with a peaceful expression on his face. Changmin gave a gentle smile before reaching over to lovingly brush some of Yunho's hair from his forehead. The feelings swirling within his chest were a mixture of adoration, fear, and what he could only figure was love. 'Can this even work? I'm falling too hard...I've been falling too hard.' He thought to himself before curling in closer to Yunho and drifting to sleep.

 The alarm began to blare its annoying tune at 7am the following morning. Yunho had somehow managed to work himself closer to Changmin in his sleep, and was laying with his head tucked into the crook of the younger man's neck; their legs tangled together. About a minute into the racket Changmin began to stir with a displeased groan wanting to silence the offending alarm, but groaned again when he realized the noise was from Yunho's phone.  
 "Yunho-hyung wake up..." Changmin managed to murmur in a gravely morning voice. Though his leader was fast asleep as if he heard nothing at all even in his sleep. Changmin shifted himself carefully enough to not hurt Yunho, but still attempting to untangle their legs.  
 "Hell he's like a koala--!" Changmin exclaimed in an almost whisper before utilizing his newfound freedom to lean over groping for the cellphone. Yunho had managed to wedge himself in at an inconvenient angle limiting Changmin's reach, and at which point twenty-nine year old finally shook his shoulders more roughly.  
 "Wake up!" Once was enough for Yunho's eyes to flutter open and make a mild face at the offending sound. With a small yawn he rolled over shutting the alarm off as if nothing were wrong. Their legs now properly dislodged Changmin sat up trying to will the onset of exhaustion from his eyes.  
 "Good morning..." Yunho managed before getting up and shuffling out of the room.  
 "We have to be at the airport by 10:30!" Changmin called after him before getting up as well, and tended to making the bed like a civilized man. Yunho had answered back from the restroom out near their living room, but Changmin couldn't quite catch what he was saying. Today they were flying up to Hokkaido so preparations for their concert could go underway, and Changmin was quite excited in his own quiet way. Yunho was usually always keen on these events, but had this ability go into what Changmin called his alpha stance during these times. There were two sides; one where Yunho wandered around like a weirdo throughout their venue getting into mischief, or the second where his focus knew no equal. The meshing of the two was actually very incredible to see happening in real time. After the bedroom was tidied up Changmin went to go do a last minute check on his personal suitcase; SMEnt would have their costumes and such already en route before long he imagined. Of course he also needed to make sure Yunho had packed away all that was necessary since Jung Yunho keeper was a full-time job after all.  
 "Do you want to eat now or wait?" Yunho asked suddenly entering the bedroom.  
 "Now so we will have energy to carry us through the morning." Changmin concluded, "I will go fix it after I get dressed, and you should get ready as well." Yunho watched after him a brief moment before opening his closet to rummage for a good casual outfit. Changmin had already quickly dressed and was preparing breakfast for the two of them while taking sips of black coffee to kick-start his brain.  
 "What did you end up making?" Yunho queried as he walked in and stood behind Changmin as he usually did when the young man cooked, except that the closeness seemed more pronounced this morning. Changmin didn't want to admit that his cheeks were heating up, but they were when he could so easily feel Yunho's presence without looking.  
 "I just used the little stove grill to make fish and made eggs. I think some protein will do us good this morning. Maybe we can grab some fruit on the way out the door." Without thinking he leaned back against Yunho after turning the burner off, and much to Changmin's pleasure he felt a pair of arms wrap around his waist from behind.  
 "Sounds good." Yunho rested his chin on Changmin's shoulder, and the young man could almost picture that puppy-like expression that Yunho wore. Changmin could swear that his partner's sway over him was deadly. They stayed like that for a minute regardless before parting when Changmin made mention to begin eating.

  
 9am sharp they arrived at the sprawling airport making their way briskly to the checkpoint; Yunho had his black nose and mouth surgical type mask on with sunglasses, and Changmin forwent the sunglasses or mask. Both looked like men on a mission with their bodyguard hanging in close behind the two of them. During these times neither really talked until they were at least at the gate or on their flight, but Yunho finally got particularly chatty after the security protocol.  
 "You really do not like being up before noon, do you?" He jested while standing by one of the giant ceiling to floor windows.  
Changmin scoffed, "Maybe when I was sixteen or seventeen hyung. I'm almost 30, or strictly 30 depending on who you talk to." Yunho chuckled at the indignation as he watched planes maneuver themselves at various gate points. Another hour and they would be well on their way up to Hokkaido which seemed to be taking an eternity to happen, and Yunho was focused mainly on their extensive list of what needed to be accomplished upon arrival as well as throughout the week. These thoughts and worries were also extended out to Changmin who seemed to be holding the most anxiety over their particular situation. Yunho would be lying if he said that he too wasn't so worried about everything, because even being a private affair, what they were doing really could negatively affect everything they have worked for. A majority of fans might be completely unfazed by their new relationship, several might even say they saw it coming, but there would be such heavy backlash from even the most basic slip up. Netizens would go completely nuts and start the viral campaign of knocking the duo down at every turn, and what's more is the fact that it would be who they work for and have schedules with that could also play a major factor in creating more barriers.

Yunho chewed his lip.

He had a lot more faith in people than these thoughts seemed to convey. However, being in this industry since his formative teenage years taught the man a few very basic concepts: Be mindful of others, be mindful of your limits and pushing them if necessary, not everyone wants what is best for you, work at your full capacity no matter what. Casually his eyes shifted to Changmin who was now taking a seat not too far away with his phone out. It has already been fourteen years since their debut, almost reaching a decade where activities as the two of them took place ever since that first nerve racking concert. Who else would he have wanted to have by his side than Changmin? The one person most were surprised to hear wanted to continue on with Yunho regardless of the heated backlash from fans highly disappointed in the split. That quiet, well spoken young man with wit and sarcasm Yunho had never seen before, but dedicated and kind hearted if you knew what to look for.  
There wasn't anyone else who would fit better. Even with all their earlier arguments which could get loud; and Yunho could admit he had a bad habit of getting too invested where he needed to back off. Love and war wasn't at all far off from their two man beginnings, but he was trying to remember when the love part shifted to be romantically inclined for himself. Maybe it was always this way? Yunho liked women, adored the idea of having a wife and maybe one or two little ones running around, along with that setting every man his age was told to aspire towards. Yunho was both traditional and very unconventional, because you see he didn't want a quiet housewife, no, Yunho wanted a woman who was as feisty, witty, and had good character.

Come to think if it these were traits Changmin had.

Another glance over at Changmin and he could feel the butterflies in chest sensation. 'So the people around us who teased the two of us...' Yunho's thoughts trailed off as the com system came on and boarding was beginning. Changmin had pocketed his phone and stepped over to the stewardess podium along with Yunho as they waited to be let on.  
 "At least it isn't a long flight." Changmin remarked off-handedly.  
 "Remember when we went to LA?" Yunho brought up and Changmin seemed to almost visibly grimace at the memory.  
 "Don't remind me. Eighteen hours of boredom enough to drive you crazy."

They entered the first class accommodations at the front of the plane taking their seats, Changmin sticking his small carry on bag under his. Yunho always thought it was silly to sit in first class if he were honest, because an airplane is the one place they've never had issues with people. Changmin, however didn't seem to complain about the five star treatment which was another way in which the two differed. Okay, so Yunho liked the first class type of thing depending on the unique situation that it may be presented to him, but typically he wasn't all that caught up with pomp and circumstance; whereas Changmin could pass as the son of a CEO with how he enjoyed his creature comforts. Yunho did silently hope Changmin wouldn't get too playful while they were en route on a plane full of people, because even trying to be discreet would be an absolute disaster, but there wasn't much he would put past Changmin sometimes. He had heard once or twice, while Changmin was drunk, the young man talk about his girlfriends which was both enlightening and a little scandalous. Yunho would never tell a soul what mischief he's gotten into with any of his girlfriends, and not because he didn't trust Changmin with that information, it was simply the principle of the matter.  
After their flight had taken off Changmin was looking out the window snapping a photo. Yunho had reclined the seat back just enough to comfortably rest or read if he wanted too. Neither really went to bed early enough to be getting up at 7am, but so be it he supposed. Probably could have saved that shower for the morning and being seduced didn't entirely help either. There was one thing the two did frequently enough that the act would never actually be brought into question: hand holding. So Yunho reached over with his left hand placing it over Changmin's right softly, and smiled a little when Changmin shifted his on top of Yunho's and locked fingers gently  
 "Looking at the clouds?" Yunho looked over to see if he could catch a glimpse past Changmin.  
 "The cloud formations look really neat over that way." Changmin pointed out with his free hand as Yunho sat up to take a peek. The sky above the clouds did always look spectacular and especially if they were flying in above a thunderstorm. Although Yunho admittedly was a bit afraid of thunderstorms while some four thousand feet above the ground. Changmin snapped another picture before switching to the front facing camera.  
 "Smile, Yunho." He said with one also adorning his features. Yunho did, pulling down the face mask and the picture was taken before Changmin closed the camera app and switched onto another one.  
 "Are you going to upload it to Instagram?" Yunho flexed the hand being held by Changmin's lightly. Changmin simply nodded without speaking before putting his phone away. The two sat in comfortable silence as they listened to the mechanical wirring of the plane's engines. A flight attendant walked by offering food or drink to which the two agreed seeing as they would have another hour and a half to go. Yunho was really craving a coke and Changmin just got tea, but both of them agreed on getting food to tide over their appetites until they could eat later in the day. When she walked off Changmin did a check of their surroundings; a businessman asleep in the seat in front of them, no one behind, two women in the back adjacent seats watching a movie with earbuds in, across the aisle next to them was another man sitting by the window. All in all a pretty clear situation. Changmin had tapped Yunho's shoulder so the man would turn his head, and keeping a last minute eye out he leaned forward planting a kiss on his partner's cheek.  
Yunho looked somewhat scandalized and flustered as he attempted not to make a small scene. "Changmin there are people." He stressed in an attempt to be cross that came off rather adorably with his flushed complexion.  
 "It was your cheek, goodness. You act like I tried to go down on you." Changmin casually commented and again Yunho mildly scolded him before letting go of the younger man's hand as the attendant came into view. She came to them with their food and drinks to which both men began chowing down, Changmin with a bit more consideration as he always had the funniest habit of savoring his food unless he was absolutely starving.  
Another forty-five minutes passed before their eventual arrival up in Hokkaido, and with it the flurry of exiting the plane, meandering through throngs of business people and tourists, while also doing the mundane task of waiting for their personal luggage to come round the conveyer. The two were quick to speed walk off to the escalators, going up and Yunho giving a wave or two to filming fans before exiting to the car waiting for them. Their manager was waiting in the front seat, Changmin letting Yunho get in first, before he sat in the back alongside the man closing the car door. As they started driving it was a pleasant yet professional back and forth relating to their concert, the specs, acoustics, anything and everything you could ever think of that went into a larger venue. Yunho had instinctively taken hold of the conversation with his spontaneous ideas which translates well mixed in with Changmin's more linear approach that he threw in at key points of their talk.

Traffic was a little unruly as they were carefully driven through backed up traffic and the occasional bout of someone forgetting which lane went where, but remarkably more easily managed than Tokyo. They were supposed to arrive at the venue first, their items taken to the hotel in the meantime, and from there the schedule was to get as much finished by 10-11pm. Of course they were more than likely looking at the realm of 11:30 to midnight since traffic had been a little more clogged than was previously thought.  
 The two arrived at the near football field sized stadium and stepped inside with crew having already been there three hours earlier to begin preparations. The venue itself was not an unknown to them, but since their last concert up this way almost three years ago now some renovations had been done. Changmin noticed where the main stage sat now seemed more expansive with less awkward placement. The front row areas hugged around the main stage more nearly, and there were two smaller aisle stages that jutted out from left and right. Yunho had already located the man in charge of setting up, and he was seen standing off to the side with him making gestures towards the center.  
 "Acoustics should be much better." Changmin mentioned before finding a member of the sound team to get the full run down with. Tomorrow would be them practicing the dance routines along with their own solo songs. Changmin was going to do In A Different Life since this concert was happening relatively close to the release of that song, but Yunho wasn't going to perform Drop this time around; surprisingly enough he was doing a throwback to Champagne and Komplicated. Not that Changmin thought either song was a bad idea, especially because Champagne was especially such a fun little number.

 Changmin almost brought back Heaven's Day. Though with where his mind had been lately the performance might have been a little too real, and this was before he really discovered what Yunho did to him. So retroactively Changmin really needed to thank himself.  
 "Changmin what do you think about coming down on suspension lines right on either aisle stage?" Yunho asked suddenly and luckily Changmin didn't miss a word.  
 "I like it depending on the song. Did you  an idea for which one?" He asked to which Yunho replied, "I was thinking for either Rising Sun or doing it for Double Trouble."  
Changmin looked like a light went off,   "Double Trouble would be perfect." Yunho seemed to concur because he turned right away to speak with the technician in charge of such acrobatics, while Changmin went up on stage to scope out placements.  
Food was brought to them at around 5:25pm after both men felt things were sufficient enough so far to take a break. Their dancers would be arriving in early tomorrow by at least 8am, and so that bought the men a little time to sleep in the wagered. Especially since the hotel and stadium were rather close to one another. They could probably sleep until 8 before getting up, ready, and arriving at 9:15. First would be practice dances out of costume and then in costume. Changmin having teased Yunho about needing to make sure his pants were going to behave.  
 "Tomorrow will be almost non-stop." Yunho said between bites of his sandwich.  
 "If we start practicing by 9:30 we can probably have a huge chunk finished by 7:00 or 7:30." As much as Changmin complained about hard work this was actually exciting for him to plan out and do. Especially if they stuck to a rigorous schedule which wasn't normally an issue where Yunho was concerned.  
 "Let's just make it 8:00 to be safe. We can take thirty minute breaks after every two hours, forty minutes if we are ahead of schedule." Yunho suggested to which Changmin nodded in agreement.  
Their current pre-practice checks did end up lasting until 10:35 that night, with a huge portion dedicated to acoustics. If nothing sounded good then there would be many more issues arising from that. Both of them entered the hotel room with remarkably more energy than either had that morning, but Changmin could only assume the next few nights after the concert would be filled with more fatigue. Yunho peeled his clothing off and dropped it into a nice pile by the bed, and stretched a little bit before looking over at Changmin.  
 "I'm going to take a shower. No funny business." He teased lightly before unzipping his bag rummaging around for a shirt. Changmin was also in the process of removing his attire before shaking his head.  
 "I'm not a pervert... usually." He added with a smile to which Yunho looked up with shirt in hand.  
 "You're devious, Minnie." He pointed out before going into the bathroom, "If you're going to shower with me you can at least behave."  
Changmin rolled his eyes following him in and sat his pajama pants on the counter. What kind of behavior did Yunho expect, because he wasn't all that clear on what could or couldn't be done. Testing his boundaries Changmin strode up behind Yunho and planted a kiss on the back of his neck.  
 "I can do my best." He murmured against the skin.  
 "Somehow I don't believe you." Yunho was amused nonetheless, but practically jumped when he felt Changmin grab his posterior a little roughly. "Like I said I don't believe you!" He swatted the young man's hand away albeit playfully before turning the water on  
 "Now I know you aren't put off. Besides I'm just being playful, ya know?" Changmin chuckled before trailing a fingertip slowly down Yunho's back. "I'm also trying to get used to seeing you like this. Especially after that debacle on the sofa a few nights ago."  
Yunho gave a mild snort laugh remembering how Changmin flipped out. He stepped into the shower with Changmin stepping in behind him not too long after, and waiting for Yunho to wet his hair first. Though he did notice that the showerhead was detachable giving him a rather mischievous idea. Under the guise of wetting his hair Changmin stepped under the stream of water before reaching up to detach the nozzle carefully. Turning it onto a slightly stronger setting, Changmin changed the temperature from warm to cold aiming the water stream at Yunho's back.  
 "Changmin!" He yelped and hopped out of the shower, but back in again when he realized the air was colder than the water.

The mild glare Changmin was receiving didn't deter any laughter at all. He just turned the water back onto warm and handed the nozzle over to Yunho.  
 "Knock yourself out." He quipped before stepping out of the way. Yunho wasn't angry so much as startled by the sudden jolt to almost all his senses. So Changmin thought he was clever? Yunho bided his time rinsing off his hair and skin, waiting, and finding an opportune moment switching the water back to cold, and spraying Changmin directly in the stomach. The jet of cold water was unfortunately close to other regions that reacted badly to such extreme temperatures. Changmin hopped around and out of the shower looking scandalized as Yunho turned off the water.  
 "Turn about is only fair." He reminded Changmin before grabbing one of the fluffy hotel towels. Changmin stood there still mildly swearing at how uncomfortable his nether regions felt and especially with the cold air hitting his skin. Yunho began patting himself dry feeling vindicated by this small victory against his partner, looking at Changmin in the mirror who was glaring at the back of his head.  
 "Changmin I didn't mean to aim that low." Yunho apologized although he was snickering some at the look of disdain in Changmin's eyes. Changmin finally just shrugged it off before getting dry and putting his pants on and stepping out. When Yunho followed suit he was in a shirt with no pants as per usual, but he was starting to look for pants in his small suitcase. Changmin had pulled the covers down and climbed into bed still feeling a little scandalized by his crotch being hit with cold water. Yunho had finally located his pajama pants and put them on before climbing into bed and shutting the lamp off.  
 "I might put the television on." He turned the light back on looking for the remote.  
 "Don't, please, you know I can't sleep well with flashes from the television." Changmin groaned as he rolled onto his side facing Yunho. The older idol gave him a gentle nudge on the shoulder.  
 "Should have brought an eye mask."  
 "I can't have any noise either." Changmin simply reminded him as now it was Yunho's turn to sigh a little. Everytime they ever had to room with one another this would always become an issue, along with Yunho's bizarre sleeping habits. In a light hearted manner Yunho took the second pillow from under his head and put it over Changmin's face.  
 "There! Now our problems are solved." He laughed a little when Changmin gingerly shoved it off his face.  
 "Trying to suffocate me?" Changmin sat up a bit putting the pillow towards Yunho's face, but it was quickly knocked away.  
 "How did you know?" Yunho laughed and took hold of the pillow before it could be used against him. At that Changmin just rolled atop Yunho apropos of nothing and poked his chin gently, a little smile playing on his face.  
 "I just realized we forgot to brush our teeth." He said before getting up and off the bed going to his bag. Yunho laid there looking confused at first before getting up as well, and grabbing his toothbrush and toothpaste going back into the bathroom. Apparently he could gather Changmin wasn't about to kiss him until he brushed which was fair. Once they both felt adequately clean of mouth Yunho shut the bathroom light off and walked back out.  
 "Better?" He inquired going over to his side of the bed. Changmin stepped over to the same side wrapping his arms around Yunho's shoulders lightly.  
 "Mhm..." He pressed a gentle kiss to the man's lips, and found himself being pulled down onto the bed atop Yunho. Nothing impassioned, nothing heated, just gentle kisses being slowly drawn out. Yunho shifted so that he was laying on the bed normally, Changmin repositioning himself back overtop of him. He left little trails of kisses on Yunho's jawline and areas of exposed neck, but kept himself from feeling too much arousal. This was difficult to manage since he had always felt so strongly, secretly, quietly grappling with feelings for a man he had known longer than most people save for family. To him Yunho was family for such a long time, a person to depend on always being there by his side. They've been through enough tribulations to last another few decades, but between them both the bond was steadfast. As Changmin's thoughts escalated as did the beating of his heart which sounded deafening in his own ears.  
'Always by my side. We have never been far apart by choice. I want to continue to have him by my side till the end.' Changmin had always thought this, but the promise of this commitment had begun to take on new life. Not just as two performers, two friends, and that realization scared him witless. Yunho must have noticed the tenseness in Changmin's shoulders, because he furrowed his brow giving them a gentle rub.  
 "Changmin?"  
 "Yunho...I think I just figured out what I've been sorting through." At first he kept his face tucked in the crook of Yunho's neck, but was encouraged to lift his head. Even through dim outside light he could make out Yunho's features etched with concern.  
 "Do you want to tell me?" He asked as Changmin began to sit up and Yunho sitting up with him. Changmin rubbed the back of his head and neck while trying to placate the anxious gnawing inside his mind.  
 "You know how I said I wanted to continue on till the end? I do, I still do so get that worried look from your face, hyung. I'm just realizing... understanding now what my heart wants from that." And he spoke slowly as if every word was going to make or break the delicate balance they put themselves into. Yunho sat silently listening with just as much care to what Changmin was stating, and it hurt him to see this worry weaving its way into him. Not that the thoughts were unfounded, but how he wished to just wipe away all the discomfort.  
 "What does your heart want from it?" Of course he could guess, but to hear those words from Changmin would mean so much more regardless. Changmin knew Yunho wasn't going to judge him with all they've done now, but his mind was still set to being in a state of fight or flight mode.  
 "I want to stay by your side as your lover. I want to be with you like this because I've always loved you, but the feeling has only escalated in two years." It was only natural. Changmin will be the first to admit he had always vehemently stated he wasn't into men even if he wasn't against men being in love. Yunho somehow managed to slowly change all of that over fourteen years, with his feelings having taken root five years ago, and blossom during their military leave. Without a word Yunho grabbed Changmin's hand and squeezed tightly, still letting him have time to speak.  
 "I want to have with you what we both have wanted with women. We look for traits in women that are similar to each other, but who are we kidding? We can fool around as much as we want, but there are things expected of us and I---" Changmin was cut off by Yunho who spoke softly yet firmly. "I promised you I would figure something out."

Changmin felt like his eyes were going to water, and luckily Yunho could not see that.  
 "I know you did, I know. How can we make this work? What about our families?"  
Yunho shook his head, "One thing at a time Changmin. We have to focus on us, how our company will be effected and our families. This is very delicate, but rest assured I'm as worried as you." He leaned forward pressing his lips to Changmin's forehead gently.  
 "I have always appreciated you, adored you, and I have found myself gazing at you at times through a more romantic lense." Yunho continued as he took Changmin's other hand, "We both have been skirting the issue until it could no longer be avoided. Now we just need to take a deep breath and focus one day at a time." He reassured Changmin before pulling him in closer to press a kiss to the man's cheek gently. Changmin seemed to have calmed down a lot as he nodded, allowing himself to be led down back onto the bed with Yunho's arms around him.  
 "You're right. You're usually right..." Changmin responded sleepily as Yunho pulled the covers up over them with care.  
 "We just need to rest for tomorrow. After a few days we can focus our efforts." He stroked Changmin's hair until the young man fell fast asleep and Yunho soon following after.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the chapter with the explicit sexual content. You have been warned.

  Both had slept in till 8:00am sharp before getting up and getting ready for the day. Casual practice clothes in a small duffle along with sneakers, and Changmin also packed a few snacks. As planned they both arrived at the venue around 9:15 where the dancers had just started filtering in. There were cheerful hellos and a few people started stretching while Yunho thanked them for arriving, and being there for the upcoming concert starting the day after tomorrow at 6:00pm. Last night's events were pushed to the back of their minds to have full focus on preparing for the next two days, and you could scarcely tell between them if anything transpired or not. Both had their A game focus on at the start as they started practicing for each routine, and changing up a few moves that wouldn't translate quite as well across a larger stage. They didn't have many songs like that to juggle around with, but the challenge was unique per stage. Even professionals weren't perfect as Changmin misstepped a couple times on different routines, and Yunho had overstepped bumping into him. They weren't huge problems and were easily laughed off, but Changmin was only appreciative that his mind hadn't lost track. The acoustics were being tweaked with every song where Yunho thought that the reverberation sounded too much like tin being clunked around. And even had people stand way up in the higher stadium seating to clarify if the sound was still clear in quality from back there.  
Their thirty minute break started at about 12:31 on the dot. Changmin taking the opportunity to sit up in the seats, reclined back a little bit with water in hand. Yunho still hadn't sat down and instead wandered around the aisles between seats looking like the most curious man on the planet.  
  "You can definitely tell they renovated!" He called out across eight rows to Changmin. The latter turning to look in mild concern.  
  "That's usually what happens when people renovate!" Changmin called back before uncapping his water to take a swig. Yunho ventured back down to everyone else after fifteen minutes with Changmin finally getting up and heading back to the stage.  
Their practice started again at 1:00pm and lasted on through till 3:00, taking a fifteen minute break and blazing through from 3:15 to 6:00 with minimal stopping times unless necessary. At around 6:03 Yunho got a phone call from the manager who was inquiring about progress, and saying they would be back up that way tomorrow around 9:00am. Changmin actually didn't envy the manager's job since he had to deal with the company end of things, plus locating correct venues, and making sure Yunho didn't wander off too much.

Actually that was Changmin's job.

Everyone was filled with excited chatter as the time to begin their concert was ahead. After tomorrow it would be go time, and before every show everyone was always filled with excitement. Yunho had not really stopped displaying energy since they arrived that morning, whilst Changmin was pretty certain his body was in need of a hot shower. Every routine was more or less known like the back of their hands, but Yunho wouldn't dare skimp on the details regardless of how well they knew a song. Then there was their newest song Reboot which needed to be focused on with perhaps more fervor.  
Tomorrow they would do in costume practice and final preparations on that end of things, while also relearning the backstage area. Performing Keep Your Head Down almost ruined Changmin as the closeness had started to affect him like never before, but he thankfully remained resolutely professional even as his mind took a small dive. The two were already headed out the doors by 11:16pm having been at it all day; even letting the dancers leave an hour before them while their own last minute checks for the night were run. Arriving back at the hotel eight minutes later they did their routine of undressing, showering, brushing their teeth and climbing into bed with contentment.  
  "I don't see how you maintain so much energy." Changmin had tucked his pillow more comfortably under his head. Yunho was laying on his back with legs kicked out.  
  "I don't know how you can't." He retorted and moved his left leg over to poke Changmin's shin.  
  "Yes?" Changmin asked opening his eyes a little bit.  
  "Just being a bother." Yunho chuckled before turning on his side facing Changmin, "We did well today. I think tomorrow will go by with less to worry ourselves about. Then after that---"  
  "We rock the venue?"  
Yunho chuckled, "Basically." He brought his legs to comfortably tangle in with Changmin's gaining no complaints from his actions. Their bodies were still filled with the adrenaline of practice, and the concert high was really what Changmin looked forward too. Something clicks inside every performers brain in the middle of a show; fatigue ceases and suddenly it is simply the most euphoric sensation on the planet. Better than any energy drink that's for certain. After a few moments light snoring was heard from Yunho and Changmin opened his eyes looking over adoringly.  
  "Love you." He whispered before settling back to fall asleep.

  The following morning Yunho awoke an hour before the alarm was supposed to go off. Carefully untangling himself from Changmin he got up and quietly washed up and dressed himself. Grabbing his wallet Yunho tip-toed out the hotel room and took the elevator down to the lobby where there were surprisingly more people going to and fro than he imagined. Exiting the hotel he ventured down the sidewalk towards a bakery and breakfast establishment the two typically frequented while up in Sapporo. Once inside he was greeted politely by a woman behind the counter, and set to figuring out what he was ordering. That became four croissants, two large dark roast coffees, one turkey and cranberry breakfast panini, the other being chicken with egg and spinach. Once he purchased everything, got it boxed with the coffees in a little carrier he set back off across the street and back into the hotel. Although once he got to the hall their room was in Yunho made an unfortunate discovery; he forgot the key card.  
  "Damn, um Changmin?" He called out knocking on the door. This was probably a bad time to mention he left his phone inside the room as well. Changmin meanwhile was having a pleasant dream until Yunho's voice shattered it along with the knocking. Grumbling, his eyes opened to see Yunho wasn't in bed, his phone was visible on the nightstand, and that obnoxious knocking was on the door.  
  "One second!" Changmin called out before getting up and meandering sleepily to open the door. What hit him was the smell of food before moving out of Yunho's way.  
  "You forgot your phone and the card?" Changmin managed to say before going to poke around in the boxes as his stomach grumbled.  
  "I wanted to hurry out and back. You're welcome, by the way." He sat down grabbing a croissant taking a bite. Changmin started to drink his coffee not knowing if he needed to be caffeinated first or eat his sandwich.  
  "Thank you. I just wish you would pay attention to these things." Then again if he wanted to be with Yunho the rest of his days this would need more getting use too. They ate and chatted a little bit before Changmin got up to excuse himself to the bathroom, closing the door behind him with a sigh. That dream was still poking at the back of his mind throughout breakfast making him uncomfortable, but not so much in a bad way. Changmin looked down to see the minor bulge that had decided to take up residence in his sweatpants and swore under his breath.  
  "If he hadn't woken me up..." Changmin turned the faucet on before pressing his back up against the door. He supposed the feeling could be willed away on its own, but Changmin knew that might take a bit with his current state. They didn't need to leave for another thirty minutes so he had time to spare.  
Fishing into his sweatpants he hissed a bit as his hand gently gripped his length. All he needed to do was be quiet, be finished, and go on with his day. Anything to alleviate this damn tension that kept sinking into his body making him want to burst. Changmin bit his lip as he began to pump himself slowly which seemed like torture enough, heat rising from his feet all the way up through to his face.  
  "Please..." Changmin rasped trying to remain as quiet as possible. He slid down sitting against the door now with his knees opened, hand working himself into a quiet fever as sweat glistened along the man's neck. All he needed to do was picture Yunho ontop of him, kissing him, hands roaming, and Changmin gave a shuddered moan at imagining his partner making an imprint of him into the mattress. Changmin had stated he wouldn't take Yunho the first time, but even after saying that he knew he was lying. Almost lewdly he licked his lips trailing his fingers down along the underside of his shaft.  
  "F--Fuck..." That and a moan came out a little more loudly than he would have preferred. Quickly, Changmin silenced himself to listen making sure Yunho couldn't hear. The TV sounded like it was on so he knew the coast was clear, but it wouldn't take long for Yunho to question why he was gone for this long. The more playful side of Changmin wanted to be louder on purpose, torment Yunho a little and get him riled up just as they needed to leave. The fingers trailing down went further along the sac causing goosebumps to spread, and a little further still as he used his other hand to keep working his erection.  
  "Yunho....Yunho...." Why not? This would be more fuel for later on anyway. He called his name a little more loudly this time and heard the TV volume lower. Perfect. Changmin wasn't going to not be a little lewd, cracking the door open just a bit so Yunho could hear him more clearly.

Ah, he was probably going to get in trouble. This was worth all the trouble though and heat began pooling in his stomach. Since opening the door Changmin had turned facing it in case Yunho felt like taking a peek in. Yunho had, in fact, been hearing his name and got up walking to the partially opened bathroom door trying to figure out what Changmin was saying in such hushed tones. The sound of a moan filled his ears and sent a jolt straight through him, but not enough to derail his mind. Instead he was going to be more proactive about this and tell Changmin they needed to leave soon.  
"Changmin we have less than eight minutes till we need to leave." Yunho fully opened the door with some force, unafraid of what he might encounter. Apparently Changmin had not expected him to suddenly the open the door, because mid orgasm he made the strangest surprised noise and accidentally left a part of himself on Yunho's socks.

They both stared at each other.

Changmin swallowed thickly as his eyes looked down and then back up at Yunho's face. Yunho meanwhile had a lot of questions, wasn't sure if he really needed to ask, and moreover was now needing to change his socks.  
"....Just get ready, okay?" It wasn't seeing Changmin in this state that embarrassed him. It was having his fluids now on his socks. If lucky neither of them would ever mention this moment again.

 

  Lo and behold nine hours later at 6:00pm Changmin managed to do just that while they were alone backstage during practice.  
  "About this morning, hyung..."  
  "It happened, let's move past it." Yunho wanted to avoid this simply from the shock. Changmin clicked his tongue a little bit before clearing his throat.  
  "I had a really good dream."  
  "Not right now. Someone might hear you talking, okay?" That and he just wanted to focus on their duties until everything was finished for the day. Changmin with his overt sexuality was its own deadly force, because he unfortunately knew how to be seductive while barely making effort. Yunho had been good at keeping his mind completely off the image of Changmin with his sweatpants off, standing in front of the door in that moment of bliss before the illusion was shattered by an opening door.  
So he would continue to be alright about it. Practice wasn't even over yet so he needed to remain without any crazy distractions. Changmin got up to look at the mechanical platform they would be using for certain numbers.  
  "One more day." He reminded Yunho who nodded with a smile.  
  "I take it you're excited too?"  
  "Yes. I hate that nervous excitement because you want to perform, but then you have to wait." Changmin heard the manager call down and ushered he and Yunho back up into the main stage. Between the dance practices they had also been working on finishing up their intermission VCR footage, and as always the concept was fun with a playful flair. Even more than the day before everyone had put their all into making sure that the routines were down pat. Since the concert didn't start till 6:00pm the next day, Yunho decides they could keep at it until midnight to 1:00am at least. Changmin would complain, but he knew the man's intuition was never wrong with how to coordinate and fix everything up.  
1:30am and the duo arrived back at the hotel flopping on the bed without saying a word. They had managed to take their clothes off, but that was just about it. They would reap the benefits of hardwork in about fifteen hours time so all would be worth the exhaustion. Changmin crawled under the blankets finally and stretched out with a comfortable expression.  
  "I'm going to sleep for ten hours..." He mentioned before turning over to curl up as snug as could be.  
  "You will wake up at 9:00 like you normally do. Or earlier because we need to be up." Yunho yawned and crawled under the sheets finding enough energy to turn the light off. Changmin was going to answer, but sleep had already taken him before a sentence could be formed. Yunho not faring much better as his eyes became heavy before promptly passing out.

  The first VCR before the concert officially started was playing at 6:25. Crowds upon crowds of people, young and old, men and women were all placed in their appropriate sections with red light sticks being turned on at what seemed in unison. As the VCR dimmed and the lights went on low there came the thunderous chant making its way through the crowd.  
"Tohoshinki, Tohoshinki, Tohoshinki!" They all yelled with their light sticks moving in time to each syllable. Backstage Changmin and Yunho could hear the excitable crowd, their dancers around them and a buzz of excitement filtering in through the air like electricity. Yunho had everyone in a huddle as he spoke with them in thanks, encouragement for the next week of concerts that this one would be kicking off, and gave his last cheer before they all readied to run out onto the stage.  
This is what they both loved, and the dancers alike. You could do a routine a hundred times, but those cheers, that excitement, the amount of love pouring from the fans was almost palpable and gave energy to everyone performing. That energy translated well as they burst onto stage as the first song of the night began with everyone erupting into cheers. Any and everything from the past couple days just melted away from the music and playful banter after the fourth song.  
Yunho had tripped over his Japanese a little again, but Changmin noted how much better he had become just studying more diligently this month. The crowd were still good sports and heckled Yunho with playful mirth whenever he would mispronounce a particular phrase. Changmin chuckled and looked over at Yunho who was embarrassed, but both the embarrassment and Changmin's gaze were comfortable, content.

He could do this for ten more years. Ten more years or till the end, right?

When the night had drawn to a close after their last song, the duo walked backstage to meet up with the backup dancers in the greenroom. Food and drinks were set out for everyone down to the tech fellows. Changmin plopped into a seat digging into his food like he hadn't seen any in fifty years. Yunho was making playful banter with one of the male dancers, loud laughter erupting from that side of the room.  
Changmin finally stood up to go join his partner while the man stood entertaining the room at large as if his energy had never left.  
  Later that night around midnight they both arrived back in their hotel room, still bemused from antics earlier on that evening. Kicking their shoes off Changmin went to walk over towards his small suitcase, but Yunho suddenly grabbed hold of his wrist pulling him over. Not knowing to protest or not he was surprised when Yunho pressed him up against the hotel door, lips crushed against Changmin's, who in return had his hands at Yunho's sides while keeping his mind from spinning. All he could do was moan into the kiss and practically melt feeling Yunho's tongue.  
  "Wh---" Just as he thought he had time to speak, Yunho shut him up deepening their kiss. Changmin slid his hands down Yunho's back and grabbed a handful of his ass. The reaction garnered was perfect as the older idol moaned into his mouth before tugging Changmin from the door. Both of them were a mess of kisses and trying to pull off each other's clothing in an almost frenzied state, and eventually getting off everything except underwear by that point.  
  "Do you want too?" Changmin asked breathless as Yunho pressed their bodies together, and Changmin felt his stomach knot pleasurably as he felt their concealed erections press against each other through the fabric.  
  "Maybe we can see how far we want too?" Yunho murmured nipping at his lover's neck with a low hum. Changmin almost sank down onto the bed, but instead it was Yunho who sat down leaning back on his hands. At first he seemed hesitant to do something, but then reached down to slide his underwear down and off, reaching his hand to gently touch and tease his impressive arousal. Changmin involuntarily licked his lips before sauntering over to the edge of the bed and gesturing for Yunho to scoot back more. As Yunho did, Changmin climbed onto the bed and ducked in low to kiss along the man's toned stomach.  
  "You don't know what you do to me..." Changmin growled gently. He avoided contact with Yunho's member at first, and worked on kissing around his pelvis and thighs. Yunho shuddered and tried not to arch himself as Changmin's lips, tongue, and teeth teased every inch of exposed skin he found. The man's eyes almost rolled back when he felt the most playful little lick at the tip of his length.  
  "Chang---Changmin." His head hit the mattress as Changmin began to work his tongue up and down the heated appendage. Yunho didn't know where to grab as his hands groped for Changmin's hair, but settled for gripping the sheets. Changmin himself was evaluating how much of Yunho he would be able to take into his mouth. Though picturing something like this in either spot gave a little jolt down to his groin. Without anymore hesitation he sank his mouth down two inches onto Yunho's length causing the man to let out a long, breathy moan. All Changmin needed to do was mimic how he was ever given oral and the rest seemed pretty self explanatory. Yunho almost bucked up into Changmin's mouth, but the younger man had the foresight to keep his hands on Yunho's hips in case of this scenario.  
  "Not so---rough." Yunho went to lift his head before slumping it back down onto the bed, and giving another gasp as Changmin began to bob his head. He was listening to Yunho come completely undone all because of him, and the sensation alone from that realization almost sent Changmin careening over the edge. Suddenly he pulled his mouth away with a slippery noise and kissed back up Yunho's stomach, trailing his tongue up and prodding one of the man's nipples.  
  "I need you. Please..." Changmin didn't mean to come off breathlessly begging, but his mind was a haze of hormones needing to be satiated. Yunho mindlessly moved his hands up to Changmin's hips and gave them a gentle squeeze before motioning for the man to sit up.  
  "Did you bring anything with you?" Yunho asked. Changmin nodded and hopped off the bed rather erratically going through his suitcase. From there he produced a bottle of lubricant and hopped back up onto the bed.  
  "I thought you didn't want me on top?" Yunho teased before helping Changmin pull his briefs off.  
  "I was wrong, I do." Changmin still sounded heady as he opened the bottle for Yunho. "I'm no expert, but we are going to need a lot. You need to prep me first with your fingers, and then put a lot on yourself." Changmin explained before getting onto his hands and knees, side of his face pressed softly against a pillow. He felt so oddly exposed to Yunho, vulnerable, but he trusted the man with every fiber of his being. Now wasn't the time to get shy, but Yunho could feel his face start to heat up seeing Changmin put himself like this.  
  "Just let me know how everything feels." Yunho didn't want to screw this up. He coated his fingers with lubricant, but only the first two before taking a breath and pressing his index finger to Changmin's entrance. The cooling sensation caused Changmin to shift a little bit, but he sat himself up on his hands looking back some.  
  "You're fine, it's fine. Just ease it in---" Changmin suddenly gasped feeling the digit enter him slowly. He curled his fingers and lowered his head while trying to relax his muscles and make Yunho's job easier. There was something erotic about intruding Changmin like this, watching this back muscles flex as his stomach tensed with the intrusion of the second finger.  
  "Feels good..." Changmin breathed out before groaning into the pillow as Yunho began to gently work them. Of course he caught on quickly like with everything else, but Changmin hadn't imagined this actually happening ever. Yunho pressed gentle kisses along the man's back before pulling his fingers out.  
  "Lay on your back." Yunho gently commanded as Changmin turned over and laid down propping his legs up, spreading them and awaiting Yunho's next move patiently.  
  "Why my back?" He groaned as Yunho re-entered both fingers.  
  "I want to see your face, Minnie." He leaned in giving him a series of kisses from his cheeks to his lips.  
  "No cute names in the bedroom---" Changmin was cut off by another kiss.  
  "Well I don't do dirty talk like I assume you do." Yunho countered and added more lubrication before inserting a third finger carefully into Changmin. The younger man tensed up for a second as Yunho peppered more kisses along the side of his face.  
  "Did it hurt?"  
  "N--No, you can keep going." He swallowed the next moan practically and closed his eyes allowing himself to just float into a comfortable bliss. They spent the next five minutes working like that until Changmin felt he was ready.  
Yunho climbed overtop of him, sitting back on his knees and adding the lubricant onto himself as instructed. The hardest part was next as the man used his right hand for guidance, pressing the head against Changmin's now slick entrance, and the man under him took in a breath. Slowly he pushed himself in not even half an inch as Changmin's eyes screwed shut; Yunho took hold of Changmin's right hand with his left and squeezed softly.  
  "Let me know when." He assured Changmin who nodded a little and wriggled his hips to get more comfortable. Changmin figured he could take it with enough preparation, and then gave a nod as Yunho added just a bit more lube and pushed in a full inch, then slowly two. Changmin felt his muscles burning from the stretching, his body's knee jerk response was pain, but he swallowed again and squeezed Yunho's hand.  
  "I can do this..." He breathed out.  
  "Don't push yourself, Minnie." Yunho leaned down pressing their lips together softly. Even he had to admit how heavenly it felt so far; warm and the pleasant slickness from the lubrication an added affect. If Changmin couldn't do it then he wasn't about to try and force the issue, however. Yet the twenty-nine year old seemed stubbornly self aassured that he was going to be alright. Changmin bucked his hips up showing he wanted Yunho to go in further, to which the man carefully acquiesced as he worked himself in slowly. There was a full minute passing until he sank in completely all the way, and Changmin arched his back a little and shot his free hand up to clutch onto Yunho's upper arm.  
  "I'm good now." He spoke softly and smiled up at Yunho. Yunho shuddered a little feeling Changmin tighten around him involuntarily before sliding out half and inch, and then thrusting back inside slowly. The burning sensation returned to Changmin as he kept hold of Yunho's hand and squeezed his arm at the same time. He grunted and chewed on his lower lip trying to focus his mind on Yunho, on his hand, anything but that discomfort below his waist. By the third thrust Yunho noticed something was off and came to a complete stop.  
  "Changmin I'm hurting you. Look, we don't have to do this." He ran his fingers through the young man's bangs gently. Changmin whimpered a little as he shifted his hips and breathed slowly bringing his mind back down to earth.  
  "I'm sure I can...."  
  "You can't, look at you you're not enjoying it." Yunho pulled out slowly to which Changmin began to protest before the man held Changmin in close and kissed him gently. "I don't care if you say you're fine. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I hurt you like that."  
Changmin couldn't argue that and gave a content sigh into the kiss. Yunho pulled away slowly before looking at him curiously.  
  "Do you still need to get off?" He asked before Changmin nodded a little bit. Yunho couldn't do what Changmin had initially desired, but he could still at least give the man some pleasure by the end of it. Reaching down he gingerly took Changmin's length in hand before slowly beginning to work him; allowing his thumb to rub over the pernium a little. Changmin pressed his head back into the pillow before moaning out Yunho's name, the need behind his voice increasing when he felt the warmth of the man's mouth encase him.  
  "Ahhn....Yunho. Yunho....please..." Changmin murmured almost incoherently into the air as his abdomen muscles twitched. Yunho felt it strange having his mouth occupied like this, but still, like with earlier he appreciated and enjoyed the eroticism. The question he was going to ask himself was should he pull his mouth away when Changmin climaxed? However, before he could even put that into motion he heard his partner cry out and felt a white hot rush enter his mouth going down his throat. The taste was bizarre, the climax without warning, and suddenly he didn't envy a woman who would be in the same predicament. Even with it being a surprise Yunho pulled away slowly and swallowed looking mildly surprised; kinda tasted like paper.  
  "Feel better?" He took Changmin's hand.  
  "Yea, um we should shower." Changmin mentioned and winced as he stood up letting go of Yunho's hand doing so. Yunho swiftly stood and went right by Changmin helping him into the bathroom flicking the light on. Changmin assured the man he could walk before turning the shower on and waiting for the water to warm up.

Of course Yunho fretted regardless of Changmin being okay. When the young man stepped into the shower he followed him in, and straight away wrapped his arms around Changmin.  
  "We can try again another time." He heard Changmin say, and Yunho agreed with a nod before planting kisses on his shoulders.  
  "Whatever you want. Just so long as you will be okay then I'm fine." Yunho responded softly. The two men showered and then officially got ready for bed, but decided to just lay in bed naked with each other in quiet bliss. Changmin was rubbing his thumb on the back of Yunho's hand softly. Regardless if the night flopped near the end, he was only grateful that Yunho was the kind of lover to take careful consideration.  
  "Love you." Changmin whispered thinking Yunho was fast asleep by now.  
Yunho had heard this though decided to pretend to keep sleeping. That didn't stop the small smile from turning up the corners of his mouth and saving that response, and talk, for another day.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I did this one from my phone so I don't know what the heck happened, but I've got formatting issues towards the last half only an act of God can fix. It's still readable, but not perfect the way I prefer. Sorry!

  Neither of the men woke up before 10:00am that morning. Both were sprawled out overlapping one another, seemingly in complete comfort. Changmin stirred a little bit when he heard his phone give off a text notification, and rolled over reaching around for it on the nightstand. With bleary morning eyes he opened the text to see who it was from. Apparently it was Heechul who was telling him he was excited to see footage of their Sapporo concert. Changmin smiled and responded back with a 'Really? Thank you' before setting his phone down and curling back up. He just gazed at Yunho's sleeping form and replayed last night in his head over and over again. How dumb Changmin felt that he wasn't even able to keep himself together, but at least Yunho understood regardless.  
Ten years, fourteen years, Changmin didn't care how long. So long as he had Yunho by his side then nothing seemed too scary or too unbearable. The t fourteen years seemed less daunting with that thought in mind, and so did thinking about twenty years from now.  
  "Twenty years we will both be old, but I'll bet hyung will look handsome as ever." Changmin whispered as he scooted closer to back and rested his forehead against it. Yunho was wanting to wake up as he stretched, yawned, and then promptly flopped back onto the bed accidentally disturbing Changmin.  
  "Ow..." Changmin muttered and rubbed his nose a little, "You smacked me in the face." An exaggeration, but Yunho fed into it turning to wrap this arms around Changmin gently.  
  "Sorry, baby." He teased knowing Changmin was not at all fond of that nickname.  
  "No. I'm not baby." Changmin groaned although didn't pull away. Yunho chuckled and kissed the top of his head softly before capturing his lips for a moment.  
  "What I like about concerts is the fact we usually have downtime before the show." Yunho would normally take that time to go out and explore places he hadn't seen yet, or the ones he hadn't been to in a while. Today was going to be spent mostly in the hotel until it was close to time for them to get ready. Changmin sat up against the pillows a bit as Yunho shifted to hold him more comfortably, and looked up with warm eyes.  
  "We should get room service, or delivery." Yunho suggested as Changmin gave a little yawn and nod of approval.  
  "Agreed. So you want to spend most the day in each other's arms?" To which Changmin wouldn't be very surprised as this would be a very Yunho thing to do. Yunho shrugged a little and kissed Changmin gently as he eased into the motion without wanting to let up, and Changmin felt that if hearts above your head were a thing, Yunho would be trailing them everywhere.  
  "I do. I also wanted to talk to you..." Yunho murmured against his lips, but Changmin kissed him suddenly and cupped the side of the man's face.  
  "About what?" Changmin asked nipping his lower lip.  
  "You said I love you. I didn't want to---" Yunho was cut off by another kiss that deepened much more quickly. Changmin slid his hand down onto Yunho's chest and over his left side with gentle scratches.  
  "I do love you." He finally said pulling his mouth away from Yunho.  
  "I know and I wanted to say that I love you. I love you with everything that I am, Changmin." Yunho sat up a bit looking him straight in the eyes. Changmin rolled atop Yunho carefully and gave him a sudden, searing kiss that traveled straight to his toes. All Yunho could do was clutch onto Changmin's back and ride it out as their bodies pressed together.  
  "You're too much, you know that?" Changmin had to keep himself in check. To keep himself from wanting to go down on Yunho right then and there, and eating breakfast first was probably a better idea.

Yunho ordered room service as promised and put some clothes on in the meantime. Changmin did the same before turning the television on and laying back against the pillows. He watched as Yunho stepped out onto the balcony enjoying the sun through the chilly the air, and for a moment he was resentful of their situation. If he were a woman, a proper girlfriend then he could easily follow Yunho outside, hug against his arm and take in the skyline together without as much vitriolic lashback, but no such thing as a man. There was the fear that a paparazzi would snap a very unwanted photo, for it to go viral and everyone finding out their secret that way. So many variables and they were plaguing Changmin over and over again on repeat without letting up even when telling himself it would be okay. He became agitated fully realizing the scope of how serious their situation had actually become, and realizing it was no longer the two of them in their own little bubble. Still, Yunho had promised to figure everything out so then Changmin just needed to have hope, right? He flipped through channel after channel deciding finally on the news as a safe bet for background noise. Yunho came back into the room shutting the balcony door behind him with a smile.  
  "It's beautiful out right now." He mentioned before sitting down on the edge of their bed. "Hm? Changmin you're more quiet than normal."  
Which wasn't a lie and Changmin just looked over with a heavy sigh, "I can't enjoy those sights with you without accidentally causing a misstep." And for a minute Yunho didn't know what the other man actually meant until the pieces clicked in his mind.  
  "We've sat out on balconies before without a probl---"  
  "Yes, at that time I _wasn't_ romantically involved with you. So I didn't need to watch every single thing that I did." Changmin pressed with irritation laced in his voice. Yunho just bypassed the pessimistic speak and looked at Changmin seriously.  
  "I know you will be fine. We will both be fine. So stop second guessing every action you're going to take." Yunho's voice was leveled and calm. His words seemed to have sunken in because Changmin became visibly more relaxed than he had been moments before. Yunho's expression softened as he reached to cup Changmin's face, but a knock at the hotel door sent him up off the bed and unlocking the door at the sound of 'room service'. Their food delivered, Yunho closed and locked the door behind him after the man left before going to place the items onto the little table.  
  "Food?" He asked holding up a little covered bowl. Changmin got up and sat down at the table grabbing the first thing he saw and began chowing down gratefully. He really needed to figure out how to actually check his romantic notions at the door when it came to the two of them. Funny enough Changmin had always considered this very much a Yunho problem, but here he sat afflicted with it. Since, you see, Yunho is regarded as a man with a specific duality to the layers of his personality first and foremost. He is all at once playful, romantic, effervescent, yet startlingly passionate and serious with the traits overlapping constantly; and sometimes with mixed results. Changmin had more going on that was never shown to the public, and he only began to open up more comfortably towards the end of 2014.  
  "So, I spend most of today in your arms and then we get ready for the concert?" Changmin asked in between bites of his fried egg.  
  "Mhm, well that and tomorrow morning we have one TV spot at around 11:00am." Yunho pointed out to which Changmin had actually almost forgotten completely.  
  "I thought concerts were supposed to be less to do during the day." Changmin whined jokingly as Yunho softly hit his arm in jest.  
  "That's in Osaka next week. We do have that four--erm five day break back in Tokyo." Yunho had only just remembered he might have left clothes in the washer this entire time. If lucky Changmin wouldn't notice and he would be able to play the situation off without a hitch.

  After breakfast Yunho made due on his promise getting back into bed with Changmin, arms wrapped gently around the younger man. So they had a five day break coming up before Osaka? Didn't seem that their schedules were taken up during that time either, and the most either would need to do would be personal matters at most. Changmin was keen to hit the gym again, but he wanted to go with Yunho if they could coordinate their times together properly. Yunho turned the TV up a little more resting his head atop Changmin's and giving his shoulder a gentle rub. Neither of them spoke as they just laid there in a quiet appreciation of each other's company with occasional soft words from Yunho. And much to their surprise neither cellphone had actually rang or dinged any kind of notifications aside from apps the two of them left on.

Was this what marriage was like?

You fought, yes. You also worked hard together, looked out for one another, became aggravated and also adored the hell out of your partner. Nothing was one way or another, as all situations and emotions sat on a gradient. Then there were these peaceful moments where you were tangled in each other's arms not caring about the outside world. Changmin basically realized they were pretty much a married couple at this point. An almost ten year long marriage if you went by when they debuted as a duo, because before that everything was a different story.  
'If you aren't going to take this seriously then get out.' Younger Yunho's words popped up in Changmin's mind almost eliciting a chuckle. How serious even as a young teenager. Reaching up Changmin gently rubbed Yunho's forearm.  
  "Imagine if I had left SM when you told me to get serious. I wonder how things would be?" Changmin queried honestly curious, but Yunho seemed to furrow his brow taking the question a little more seriously.  
  "I don't think I would be where I am now, Minnie. TVXQ would have been much different from the start, and after...?" Yunho reached up patting Changmin's hand, "I don't think any of this could have happened without you."  
Changmin understood the seriousness behind Yunho's words. After the split his brightness, and open nature had dimmed to the point that Changmin had taken notice. Young as he was when it happened, but Changmin has always had a knack for empathy. And Yunho at that time was so much more fragile than his persona, and self pride, would have even allowed him to show. Changmin frowned at the memory of seeing the disappointment and heartbreak in Yunho's eyes during that entire debacle; that look was his personal turning point. Changmin, the so called 'evil maknae' would stick it out beside Yunho no matter what other people thought or said. Never again did Changmin want to see Yunho look so devastated or feel that his worth as a strong leader figure, as a person, was diminished.  
  "I love you." Changmin blurted out suddenly and Yunho turned his head looking at him with a smile.  
  "I love you too, but you've been looking a little lost in thought?" Yunho pressed a kiss to the top of Changmin's head.  
  "Just cycling through some old memories." He smiled and nestled back in to watch the television.  
The pair must have fallen asleep, because the next thing Yunho knew was a different program was on. That and a secondary glance showed it went from being 11:45am to 1:00pm, to which Yunho was just happy he hadn't snoozed too long. Changmin was still beside him looking peaceful as always while fast asleep. Yunho wished he was that cool looking while sleeping, because according to others he was just a mess; turned funny, mouth hanging open, sometimes sleep mumbling. Yunho was attempting to move without waking Changmin so he could grab a bottle of water, but the twenty-nine year old had a tight grip on his arm.  
  "Changmin?" Yunho really didn't want to wake him, but he was also very thirsty. Changmin stirred after a second and rolled over without needing to be asked, and relieved, Yunho stood up and made his way across the room to the corner table.  
  "Yunho...what time is it?" He heard a sleepy voice from the bed.  
  "It's only 1:05." He had taken a drink of water before meandering back over to the bed and sitting down at the edge.   
  "Have somewhere you need to be?" Yunho added with a chuckle.  
  "Just here, the concert, in general." Changmin stringed together with his sleep muddled mind. Honestly, could he be anymore fond or in love with a person? As funny as it sounded just seeing Changmin laying there trying to will himself awake was kind of adorable in a manner he had never noticed. Changmin was pushing himself up off the bed slowly with disheveled hair and sleep still in his eyes. For the next three to five minutes he wouldn't be talking Yunho knew that much. Sleepily Changmin stood up from the bed and staggered with a yawn into the bathroom shutting the door behind him, emerging two minutes later and flopping down on one of the chairs near the balcony door.  
  "We've gotta leave at 4:30 right?" He finally asked through a yawn.  
  "Maybe five minutes earlier I'm thinking." Yunho stretched out reclining on the bed changing the channel to the news though mostly as background noise. Changmin gave a light snort of acknowledgement before shifting his gaze to the world outside their hotel room, and the thousands of bustling bodies and vehicles down below. He replayed the outburst from earlier in his head, where upon grievances regarding more romantic forms of PDA could not be shared even from their balcony. After taking a nap and having more time to ruminate over the situation did Changmin understand how childish he was acting. They literally could not make any rash moves and Yunho was doing the absolute best that he could with what they had.

If Jung Yunho says he will figure it out, then he will figure the situation out. There wasn't much that man could not see through to the end once his mind was thoroughly set. The two men had a few hours till the time came to get ready for day two of the dome concert, and with last night Changmin felt a renewed sense of vigor; he only hoped it was the same for Yunho. Pushing himself up out of the chair he lazily sauntered to the side of the bed his partner was laying on, and then unceremoniously laid across Yunho's lap with an almost coy grin. Yunho made a soft 'oof' before smiling and playfully patting up and down Changmin's thighs before landing a pat smack on his butt.  
  "This has been the most affectionate that I have ever seen you." Yunho mused as he gave a loving rub to the back of Changmin's head. The younger idol rolled his eyes before carefully moving off Yunho's lap and hopping up off the bed and towards his small suitcase.  
  "So, you said we had a week break till the next show after tomorrow?" Changmin asked as he fished around for a change of clothes. Yunho was about to answer until a yawn took over before giving a strange 'uh-huh' in response. Having that gap between shows would certainly be fortuitous in their search of actual rest; and Changmin was grateful for this comeback more than he could express, but still felt fatigued by the non-stop grind they were experiencing.

The younger man set to pulling his razor out from a small pouch on the inside of his suitcase. Holding the item up he looked over at Yunho.   
"I'm going to get this shadow off my face. You might need to as well after I'm finished." Changmin turned and walked off into their shared bathroom turning the tap on to warm. How much he actually enjoyed the dignity of being able to grow facial hair until it was time to maintain the damn stuff. Though he was apt to teasing Yunho about how his shadow of facial hair made him appear older than he truly was. Though even that snarky commentary did little to ruffle the man's feathers to any greater degree. Ever so carefully Changmin was managing the razor in hand, after putting shaving cream on his face left on the counter from the night before. Would certainly suck if he knicked his chin too many times before they performed tonight, because stage make up on cuts felt horrible. In the other room Yunho hopped up off the bed and meandered into the bathroom and over to stand in front of the toilet.   
"I thought my razor was sitting up there? Did you move it?" Yunho queried glancing over before Changmin registered what his lover was actually doing.   
"No I---Yunho, Yunho why do you do this?" Exasperated sounding, Changmin narrowed his eyes at Yunho through the mirror's reflection. No manners whatsoever from that particular man. Even if they were closer than most long term dating arrangements there were certain things you never did, Changmin felt in front of your other half. That went up to and including going number one. Yunho didn't quite share this.   
"I find it very funny that we can have sex, but you still can't stand me going to the restroom around you."   
"Of course, because sex is fun. You peeing around me is the exact opposite!" Changmin could whirl around now, but Yunho was already finished and striding up to wash his hands off. Stepping aside Changmin huffed only mildly as he set the razor down and felt to make sure his face was smooth. Yunho gave the most unbothered shrug before exiting the bathroom to go grab his razor, and then popped back in stepping where Changmin stood and turned the tap back on. Apparently no matter the level of love they felt for one another some things were still irritation worthy. Though Yunho didn't see what he did as bizarre or weird. Public restrooms were pretty much lacking in privacy unless you scurried to occupy a stall. Changmin was just fickle in the most bizarre ways imaginable.   
"By the way," Yunho started as he carefully shaved around his mouth, "I wouldn't shower till after we're done tonight."   
"I still need to clean up a little, Yunho. You know considering..." Changmin didn't need to finish off the implication any further nor did his partner need to reply. Regardless of what television and movies try to tell you, sex really is messy even if you can only half go through with the action. Lubricant didn't exactly go away on its own and Changmin felt a little grimy because of this. He took to thoroughly and swiftly getting a wash cloth damp before removing his pants, and more funny yet was he hopped in behind the shower curtain. Yunho raised a brow as he pat his face dry and turned to walk over.   
"Why are you hiding?"   
"I don't think you want me battling the aftermath of gravity in front of you." Changmin murmured as he continued carefully cleaning himself.   
"You were unbothered earlier while we ate. Besides, um, after last night there isn't much that will shock me anymore." As Yunho commented Changmin stepped out from where the curtain concealed him and reached down to grab up his pants. "I understand you had fingers and your endowment inside me, but cleaning up is _embarrassing._ Besides, we need to make sure the sheets look okay. Imagine if the room attendant went to change our sheets and found lube stains?" Changmin emphasized the point with raised brows. To which Yunho appeared quizzical in response to the notion. "I doubt they would know what it was. Let's pretend you're weird about people who don't work with us being near our stuff. Then we can change the sheets ourselves."

The men continued on like this for several minutes more until an agreement was reached. The plan was to make Changmin seem a little uncertain of strange people being in their room with them not present. Considering the fear of antis being an actual threat it would make all the more sense. Yunho had actually not stopped to consider the inconvenience of doing anything overtly sexual in a room that wasn't their own. Just after the concert last night he still had high energy, Changmin looked better than usual, and hormones were a difficult chemical reaction to circumvent. Just as he went to exit the bathroom, Changmin came back in with shampoo in hand. "I just realized it doesn't matter if we get sweaty today, we are going to have to actually wash up." He pressed. "We---? Oh, _oh_ you're right." Took a moment for Yunho to realize how much they smelled like sex if you stood around them too long. At least his grumpier half had the foresight with these matters that would otherwise go over his head until it was too late. The duo washed, washed again until they were sure any off odor was wiped completely off of them. Yunho had suggested that the two leave earlier than originally planned to have more time to check up on everything since it was the second to last day. So the men dressed to be out in public, grabbed their phones, or rather Changmin had grabbed Yunho's off the nightstand, but before he could make it to the room door Yunho gently took his arm. "Let's do better than last night." He smiled warmly before giving Changmin a soft kiss. The twenty-nine year old reciprocated before untangling his arm from Yunho and striding out the door. "I was just going to say the same thing."


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry that this is late AND short. I've had a lot of gross events happen, but I still wanted to give you all something. Enjoy!

  The final two days of their concert were met with such an ecstatic energy, that both men could have sworn the vibes were tangible. Groups had comebacks after military leave plenty of times in the past and it was nothing new. For the duo though the culmination up into this moment was something hard to define by typical speech alone. The comeback tour came to a close with a surprise announcement of concerts being held for three days at Tokyo Dome in the month of June, much to the absolute glee of every attendee. That intense wave of energy from their final day ended up carrying on over into their subsequent trip back into Tokyo, and finally subsiding around the morning hours of the following day; Changmin having shown clearer signs of his concert high ebbing before Yunho's did. Yunho could begin to hear the sounds of the world outside their home before his eyes ever opened, the pleasant sensation of the morning having settled into his muscles as he shifted and slowly stretched. Flopping his left arm over he gently tapped a presence lying still and peaceful next to his body; opening up his eyes more Yunho observed a very tired Changmin practically motionless beside him.  
  "He's doing that creepy thing again." Yunho murmured when the older man noted that his partner's eyes were half open, but that every other aspect of Changmin's demeanor clearly showed signs of sleep. Though this made Yunho wonder if ever this actually meant Changmin suffered sleep paralysis and never told anyone. Of course waking him up was almost just as bad seeing as Changmin rather vehemently guarded his precious sleep. That and nothing was more disheartening than having his lover in a half asleep stupor threatening some form of bodily harm which would be completely unwarranted. Yawning he gently kicked his legs over the edge of his bed and stretched the muscles in his arms and back to get any lingering sensations of sleep out of them. Not really one to cook, but again there wasn't any way the man would risk possibly annoying or angering Changmin by accident and subsequently dealing with the consequences of those actions. What if he was suffering sleep paralysis though? Yunho felt like maybe he should try and wake the poor guy up if that were actually the case, but then a person saw things differently in that sleep stage. So there was a chance Yunho would make it worse by accidentally scaring Changmin because he suddenly took on the form of a monster. Yunho settled for going across the room before deciding to attempt the waking up of his moodier half.  
  "Changminnie. Changminnie...?" The man spoke a little louder before opening up his bedroom door just as he heard a shift of bed covers. Changmin had blinked several times and had begun to slowly collect his wits about him whilst turning over ever so slowly as if his muscles were stiff.  
  _"Why_ did you wake me up?" His voice had that low raspy quality present in the mornings. The sound of it actually very attractive contrary to what Changmin himself might tell you about the scratchy quality. Yunho moved from the doorway some shifting on his feet.  
  "Honestly I was worried you were having some sleep paralysis spell. Your eyes were wide open as if you were awake!"  
Changmin rubbed his eyes a bit more before rolling over, "I do that off and on. You know that so there's no reason to worry." He pulled the covers in around himself more like a cocoon of warmth and gave a content smile before feeling the bed shift with the weight of someone else. Changmin was facing the wall at the moment, but a perceptive soul could almost feel the oncoming sigh he was about to give.  
  "I _worry_ about you. I wasn't sure if you just never told me you suffered from sleep paralysis or something like that." Yunho mentioned softly before hesitantly giving his boyfriend a pat on the shoulder like he was touching a half asleep lion. You see there were two morning reactions from Changmin: Affable or down right mean as a pit viper. And the issue was that until he was woken up you never really knew which one you were actually going to get. At least for this morning Changmin appeared to be much more agreeable than what was usually the case and Yunho offered a soft smile before standing up.  
  "I'll make us breakfast and come get you when it's ready!" The man exclaimed brightly already out the door before Changmin had even rolled back over looking mildly perplexed. Though still very much sleepy, he decided it was his civic duty to ensure Yunho's cooking did not wind up compromising himself or the poor integrity of their kitchen; therefore begrudgingly sliding out of bed with a loud yawn.

Out in the kitchen came the sounds of pans and dishes clanking around, and a pleasant humming accompanied by shuffling feet. Yunho wasn't entirely sure what exactly would be on the menu this morning, but something chicken sounded good maybe mixed in with an omelet. In reality he really was not very keen on learning too much by way of crafting masterful dishes like Changmin, but Yunho felt that he at least needed to try something out so that his boyfriend could rest this morning. Changmin had finally shambled in still feeling half asleep, his hair mussed and eyes drooping when he spotted Yunho attempting to be a chef.

Ah, should he say something? Iron Chef Yunho that man certainly was not, but then it was just the thought that counts. Although Changmin wasn't entirely certain that he would be able to eat whatever his boyfriend was creating. An amused and sleepy smile forming on his lips the younger idol wandered to Yunho's side, and shifted leaning his head onto the man's broad shoulder.  
  "You left the bed sooner than I thought." Yunho only gave a quick glance before taking the spatula in hand to dislodge the pancake like object lodged in the skillet. Changmin, decked out in one of Yunho's more loose shirts and a pair of boxers gave a half hearted shrug before planting a kiss on the man's neck. Yunho smiled before sliding the seen better days breakfast food onto a plate set off to the side with other malformed pancakes, and Changmin gave the items a weary glance.

Oh he was going to try and eat that.

  "Ah, so I was thinking..." Changmin started before meandering to grab the plates, "If we want to make this any kind of easy we're going to need sex toys." And just like that Yunho sputtered looking over with widened eyes and appearing slightly scandalized.  
  "Sex--sex toys?" He stammered some almost forgetting the last pancake on the skillet until Changmin gestured urgently towards the shriveling food. Yunho made quick work to attempt a rescue before the pancake was deemed unworthy and thrown away in the trash with three others. Clicking his tongue he turned the burner off and picked up the pancake plate still looking red in the cheeks.

  "Sex toys?" He had to be sure.  
  "Vibrators, anal beads, more lube, stimulating lube, _handcuffs..."_ Changmin was so casual as he spoke plucking a pancake onto his empty plate.  
  "Handcuffs do not belong on a toy list."  
  "Says you." Changmin smiled almost too innocently for the nature of this talk, but Yunho was the one who's innocence was being carefully chipped away. Or maybe the state of mind had been gone the minute the two locked lips? Or several years ago. Yunho sat there in relatively embarrassed silence while he poked and prodded around what could be salvaged from the pancakes; giving momentary glances over towards Changmin who appeared absolutely content.

Once their food was consumed and plates were cleaned did Changmin whip out his cellphone with a small yawn. Yunho padded over from across the room stealing a couple glances at the screen with a raise of his brows.  
  "... You're really doing this? I mean how can you even order something like this without alerting _anyone?"_ Yunho feared someone would know exactly who the contraption was going to, and that would cause an absolute whirlwind of problems down the line. For once it was Changmin who was taking the not so cautious approach to things as he scrolled unimpressed through the selection. Wordlessly the young man walked to the sofa and flopped down onto the cushions clearing his throat before giving a gesture for Yunho to come hither. Yunho stepped over almost uncertain before taking a seat by Changmin and scooting in closer to see exactly what was on the screen. There were so many kinds of toys that Yunho couldn't help the surprised chuckle that ended up following.  
  "At the bottom it says there's 35 pages of all this?" He was still startled. Changmin nodded taking one hand off the phone as he lazily ran his fingers over the back of Yunho's hand.  
  "I like this one here. The girth and length aren't crazy and will be a good starting point." And with that Yunho began to go pink in his cheeks feeling oddly scandalized to be looking at this; a fact that Changmin noticed right away as he looked over.  
  "Seriously? You've already been inside of me, you've had me in your mouth and now you're embarrassed?"  
The older idol cleared his throat, "That was the heat of the moment."  
Changmin rolled his eyes and ran his hand lazily down to just above Yunho's knee where it rested, and Yunho automatically placing his own hand over top as his eyes stayed fixated now on the phone screen.

  Thirty minutes ticked on with them both trying to come to a decision on which thing to order. After he had become more comfortable with the subject matter Yunho became more vocal about the selection.  
  "This one says it has a more comfortable material, and easier to grip onto. See? Right there it says comfort!"  
  "Hyung, I'll be perfectly blunt with you. It's going up my ass so at that point comfort becomes irrelevant." Changmin sighed heavily as he shook his head getting a glimpse of Yunho's disappointed expression. Yunho had also wanted to pick out fun colors because apparently he felt that would make the process more unique or some such. Again Changmin pointed out that since it was disappearing up an orifice there was really no reason to have fun and vibrant colors.  
  _"Aesthetic, Minnie._ It's about the aesthetic right?"  
  "Since when were you about aesthetics? Did you get shown Pinterest or something?" Changmin was less annoyed now and becoming a bit more endeared, but he wasn't going to let Yunho know that just yet. Yunho pointed rather commanding to the screen where a picture of a dark purple dildo was displayed.  
  "Get that one. I think it's less weird than bright orange or pink." And Changmin sighed before adding the item into the digital checkout along with two others; anal beads at his request and a bigger bottle of lube. Yunho had been a little embarrassed about the addition of anal beads, maybe because of the name come to think of it, and Changmin reassured that they would probably be _very_ beneficial to their escapades. A minute, two minutes, then three minutes ticked by before Yunho decided that he wanted to speak up about a vexing issue on his mind.  
  "So I probably will want to try being on bottom..." For some reason he sounded completely unsure and mumbled ever so slightly to where Changmin tilted his head over quizzically.  
  "Huh---?"  
  "I said I want to try being on bottom. So when that stuff comes in I---I do want to try it out." At that his cheeks burned and Changmin slowly dissolved his mild surprise into a series of chuckles. Yunho jostled Changmin lightly with a series of 'stop laughing' coming from his mouth before the young man was thoroughly done being amused by his partner.  
  "Fine, fine. I will enjoy taking the chance to have you sprawled out on the bed with a sex toy, or me inside of you. Thank you for this opportunity, hyung." Between the grin and Changmin's tone did Yunho gently nudge him again before getting up to actually get dressed.

This was going to be a mistake. Giving Changmin that kind of power over him. A possibly fun mistake, but still one nonetheless.


End file.
